I PUT THE HOUSECAT OUTSIDE FOR TWO GODDAMN MINUTES AS A JOKE AND HE COMES RUNNING IN WITH A SNAKE IN HIS MOUTH
OH SHIT THE SNAKE IS STILL ALIVE
THE SNAKE HAS GONE INTO THE LAUNDRY ROOM AND IM ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS
SNAKE HAS BEEN RELEASED IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD IN A PANICKED, THROWING MOTION
"Fucking put me outside again, bitch. See what happens." -My Asshole Cat
“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.”
and this is what the western news doesn’t show. Educated and Covered Muslim women are unimaginable for them.
Do you ever just look at someone and think
“I’m glad your parents had sex”
James “Jim” Lambie is a contemporary visual artist, and was shortlisted for the 2005 Turner Prize with an installation called Mental Oyster. Jim Lambie graduated from the Glasgow School of Art with a Honors Bachelors of Arts degree.
The word “genius” is the nuclear weapon in the critic’s armoury. A lot of people think it should never be used. I used it a while ago and someone wrote to the Guardian complaining. I think they thought I was using it satirically - so rarely is this term employed and so dangerous is its aura.
Yet it has a venerable history. In Renaissance Europe the idea of the “genius” of the artist grew out of Neo-Platonic philosophy and the idea that creativity comes to the poet in a “fury”, a frenzy. From the start it identified artistic excellence with transports of mind. Albrecht Dürer may have been the first artist to see himself as a “genius”, portraying himself as a Christ-like messianic figure. Anyway I know a genius when I see one and the Glasgow artist Jim Lambie is a genius.
Text : The Guardian
FUCK GHOSTS MAN
Ouija boards are not a fucking game
I once did a ouija board with someone before at Mountainview cemetery in Vancouver trying to contact GHOSTS after we saw one (a ouija, not a ghost lol) at a Toys R Us. We had a case of newcastles and got right into the boozing and contacting. A bunch of korean war vet ghosts buried there immediately told us to fuck off and refused to continue with the ouija bullshit so the eyepiece just didnt move after that for several questions or so after, as if they were angrily ignoring us for disturbing them lol
After a little while, we got in contact with two other spirits that I found were specifically hovering around me. One was a female spirit with a bizarre wacky name who thought I was cute and the other was a little boy from the 19th century. We asked if the boy was buried in the cemetery. The boy said no. We asked where he was from. The little boy was from europe. Confused, we wondered if the boy was an immigrant from europe living in vancouver who died and was buried at the cemetery. No, the ouija stated. The boy never lived or visited Vancouver during his life. Where did this spirit come from and how did he find us? The spirit stated he had been following me specifically for years already. More confusion. This ghost was from Europe but has been in vancouver following me for a while already but never once been here?
I distinctly remember the chill that went up my spine when I suddenly remembered that in 2006 I went on a high school trip to Italy. I asked if hes from Italy. The ouija glides to “yes”
Is that where you saw me?
The wandering boy spirit saw me during my high school trip and decided to follow me ever since.
We packed up the ouija board and left.
you got a cute lil italian ghosty boy following you around and keepin you outta trouble because e saw you and liked you you have been blessed with a nice ghostie that is amazing